Theme Trip : Back to the Days of Early Childhood

Again another week.But this week has again gave me lots of realizations and thoughts.

After our midterm test, it's totally a relief =)

For the week, I think a lot. I realize everything in our life, we must not over-estimate our own capability. There are things that need time. Doesn't mean that we had worked hard continuously for the present would ensure a good result. Do our best based on our own capability, with a pace that we could take, but not forcing ourselves to gain on another level. Some people just have the talents. Those without, we should work extra harder. Not everything like studies, as we could master it once we understood. There are lots of stuff need to be mastered by experience gaining, and time of practices.

Second realization would be, one should understand his current wants and needs. There are certain level and life doesn't belongs to us. Never try to mingle in, as we doesn't belongs to it. Upper level looks luxury, but it would be a level that everyone wanting for benefits from each other. No true friendships within the level, it's all about Benefits. Sometimes we might be imagine, how good if one day we were to have a chance of experience it. Until at the the certain point that the chance is just right in front of you to grab it, lots of consequences will playing in your mind, and You won't be taking the offer in the end. Because you will realize you will never belongs to the lifestyle.

Follow on, something is proven. What goes around comes around. Never try to do something bad on others, or you will be getting bad in returns. Always believe in Karma! Well, I am sorry to heard about it. But I think God would made the punishment to those who had done really wrong.

Finally, it's Sunday. The day of our THEME TRIP with the title of "Back to the Day of Early Childhood" =D

Girls are required to dress up anything we like, as long as it looks like the kindergarden uniform. Guys' dress code would be in white top, shorts, and long socks. All of us required to wear white sneakers. It's a trip held at Genting by our silly gang.

Right after reached and checked in, we started to prepare for our outlook. Damn, we were all so FUNNY! The preparation was like so nervous, everyone was laughing at each other and busy giving comments. Some with long high socks, some with black socks, some with middle-edge hairstyle, and high waist shorts! Guys were all with the super short ties. And, we were given Name Tags and required to hang it for all along the trip. Childish cartoon tumbler, cartoon baby's bag pack, fairytales storybooks, kids soft toys, and cartoon pencil-box! Vv used a tie to tied as a big ribbon, and it looks damn cute! Hee.. Everything looked so INSANE!

Tadaaaa~ Everyone was ready finally. We then left the hotel room. Once the lift was opened, some of the guys intend to run away and pulled out as the crowd was there. After a struggle, we then WALKED and head towards a restaurant to heal our starving tummy. Damn, people around were all starring at us, even the security guard! He was laughing! Goshh.. Thank god I was with my kid's cap. I was looking down almost all the time to avoid people's eyes interaction. Even when we stepped into the restaurant, waiters and waitress were laughing.

WE ARE ATTENTION WHORE! XD

Right after the meals, at least we had got over the shyness. We finally feel nothing when people was pointing and laughing at us. We went and had fun at the entertainment area. Crazy one, and did lots of stupid stuff! We were at first planning to go for the flying coaster, but due to the rain just started, we then cancelled the plan. End up with the silly dancing session on the street with video recorder! Same thing, everyone were starring at us.

The whole trip was just memorable and funny. I love the laughness, and the happiness that we had! I am expecting for the next theme trip. Guess it would be ever more fun than this time ;)

Yesterday I had a nice time for glossaries with Ms Vv and her Gong. Dinner time with them after that, again in Murni. Finally she revealed something to me. I really don't know how to react, and what to do for the next step also. Tears flowed. Well, she had done the first half, another half would be my part to do it. I don't know whether should I do so. But I don't want myself to repeat the same thing and did something that I would regret. I am so nervous for the whole day today, as later would be a tough one for me to make a big decision.

All the best to me =/

Recover Fast Pls my QUEEN~

Last Friday and Saturday I was so lucky to have random jobs offer. But continuously 2 days working for 2 jobs per day is a bit tiring. Thank god most of the jobs don’t require a pair of smooth legs. My cut is recovering, but it is still obvious.

Sharon’s birthday was at 18^th, but she had her early celebration on last Sunday. Her mum and aunts had prepared lots of delicious food and drinks. Simple gathering and dinner session at her house. She is a blissful girl, with the pamper of the both brothers. Her brothers made her 2 cakes, and they are way nicer than the bakery shop seriously! I love the Chocolate ice-cream cake the most ;) After the celebration, we went to chilled at Murni in USJ9 before back home.

MsVivianC was staying overnight at my dorm after the birthday celebration. We both again chatted till the late night. That night, we talked a lot. Discussed about my story too! She was asking whether do I feel regret for not being active when the both of us were still into each other. Yes, I do, but what to do, it is already pass, nothing can change the fact. She then shared me her story about Her and Gong. She proposed, want me to write down everything in my heart, and she’ll post it to HIM on behalf of me. Shit man, what to write..! She then pushed me my handphone, offering me another alternative by sending him a sms.

I was amazed by her courage that she had in the past to fight for her love one, and they were so lovely after the incident! I told Vv that I had made my 2 first moves, which is during the Christmas and New Year, I should be stopping all the nonsense now. She then claimed that that was consider as festive greetings, and I should take another try now. My heart shakes, and end up I sent him a message for the 3^rd time. Well, as expected, I got no reply from him.

Second day, I left my lappy in USJ and back to KL. No movies, no music, I was about to die of boredness. Suddenly I received call from my mum, claimed that their car battery went die of after their visit to the night market. Well, something for me to do now, I took the key and planned to rush there after call. My dad then said that we don’t have the Jump-starter! SHIT! In such an urgent period, I was thinking who is staying right beside or nearby! The nearest, Ohh Ya!! YX! I called, but he doesn’t have the tools too. Who’s the next? ZY! He’s not at home! GOSHH! Who’s the next then….! Luckily my dad managed to found one in the store room when I was thinking who to call again. LOL.

Back home again nothing to do. HY then smsed and asked for Yumcha. Hmm, good also, rather than stay at home. There I went yumcha with him for that night.

Tuesday was a bored day. My mum is having fever, and couldn’t fetch me from my granny house to the shop. I was totally doing nothing for the whole morning to noon, FIRST TIME. End up around 5pm, I walked to shop as no one could give me a ride. I need to depart at 6pm for my dance class. JL smsed me, claimed that we have not met up for longs. It was more than half a year I think, LOL. Since I am dancing in Kepong and he is staying there, we then meet up after his gym and my dance class. We had some dessert there.

During the whole dessert time, I was being scolded by him. Claimed that I should be the cheerful one but not because of a guy and turn into this situation. He said lots of stuffs, analyzed and broke everything down. Asking me to stop being “sei chin lan da”. Even only 3 sms that I had sent, it is still considered, he claimed. I tried to fight back, but I failed. He got most of the points. Well, it’s time not to be so stubborn on all the things. I should not be affected just because of a video that he had posted which there has got nothing to do with me. And I have got my answer with his ignorance of my message. Stop being the one who is annoying, should leave him a peace world.

Just like HY said, let the nature take it course. It is not easy to let go, and it takes time. Just miss him if I really do, don’t need to restrict myself. Until the right day has come, I shall have let go automatically. Maybe until the day he has got girlfriend, or another story, just let it be. I should not be affected by any of his action. If he could not offer a full sincere heart as last time, there is no point for any other expectation.

Just got to realize the lyrics of this old song express whatever that in my heart. The lyric is actually quite sad and meaningful, but she could express it in a light, simple and relaxing way. “If one day I have backed to the original me, will you still give me a glance?” “Miss you would be my hobby.” “Miss you so much, but I have no guts to express it, as I am afraid I will be saying something wrong.” Well, I should be just like this song. Stay happy in everything, even miss him should be in a cheerful way. Stop expecting, just Miss him as I like in a happier way J

Someone told me something today. He asked me to enjoy the bitterness of my current feelings, because it is a romantic one, and the one that I will never have it for much in life. The feeling is such pain because of we really see it serious in the relationship. So just enjoy it. One day where the feeling of bitterness has gone, you gonna feel something missing and empty, and start to miss the feeling again J I buy his word ^^

Doraemon . Kitty

After my last day job on Edu Fair, it’s yumcha session with Vivian and the gang.

We chilled at the mamak beside my granny house. We had a great time of Chui Shui-ing with each other. AC was claiming that he is stress, and was asking for another trip. LOL, pokai lor~ If everyone stress after one another, I think we would have tans of trips in our year, haha! HY then suggested a Theme dinner. We end up formed it into a Theme Trip! Guys were just saying for fun, but we girls have gone serious and really planned for everything! Even Vivian’s bf is being serious by testing the hairstyle of the day XD End up the date is set. I can’t wait for the day to reach, extremely excited! All of us are going to look COOOOL~ Hee!

Ms VivianC overnight at my place on Sunday night, and we both chatted until 3am++ in the midnight. We were both excited for the coming theme trip. For that night, we have our story sharing for after so long. ;)

Was online-ing using their I-phone. Something just appeared on my home page of Facebook. I did not intend to stalk, but it just appeared. Sigh. I just don’t understand why. Why the term that between 2 of us is now appearing again? Or Mr.D doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, but just for me? With the title of “Mr.D is back”. Well, it’s back, but this time is not for Kitty, but for the others I think. Vv asked me not to think too much, as he posted it might just because of the video is funny or something. I did not get to view the video as the connection was lag on that night. You were right, I am KITTY. The cat without mouth to voice out whatever that is hidden in my heart. Maybe I was just being sensitive with the “Mr.D”, there is nothing to relate between us. I would never strike in your mind anymore.

It’s Monday again. Seriously, parents are weird. When I just broke up with my Ex, my mummy was being so happy. She told me not to rush to get a new bf, just take my time and be patient. I would meet some better guy when I stepped into the society once I have started my working life. Well, bullshit ==. I was totally SINGLE for 2010. And now, she is the one who is getting super worry! Gosh..

She was trying to intro her friends’ sons to me. What doctor what lawyer, lol. Harlo~ They are way elder than me ler.. And doctor…? They are bored, don’t you think so? Lawyer?! Oh man.. I am going to lose in the debate session once we have really coupled up. I was grumbling, and asking her to stop all the nonsense. Ok then. She then started to question me about guys around me. I then told her, if you want to see me having a boyfriend, it might be the story or half or one year later. She then got shocked, and kept mumbling! Kept asking me for the reason. Well, I seriously need some time to let go of him. But I just told her that I have not met my Mr right yet, and once I have met one, I need at least half year to understand his personalities. She has been repeated the same topic for days, and we always ended up this topic unhappily with some quarrel.

She is worrying about my Ex has done something to me. Claiming that I am not interested to any friends around me is a super weird scene ==. Well, how do you expect me to tell her that I am into someone that the person think that I am not his girl? A story without ending, I should just keep it to myself rather than to share her about it. SO, she brought me to a temple and asked “Miao Zhu” to untie the “red threat” between me and my Ex. Some simple process had done, and I am required to drink those burnt prayed paper. =/ Well, good also la. Maybe it does really matters with the red thread about my situation.

Heart was reeling since that night. Warned myself not to think too much, as I knew it has got nothing to do with me. It was just me myself being over sensitive. Somehow my mind is a bit out of control, I miss him even more! Again I dreamt about him. Shit.. I then turned down my job on Tuesday night and went to dance. I knew I will think of him if I went to work. At least dancing need more concentration and it’s another way for me to distress, so I went for it. After dance and all the sweat out, my mind feel more peace.

Night on Tues, WS called. We chatted, and here he told me about his basketball match. He told me he had just lost the game. Well, nothing special, as he is always in competition. The results are either win, or lose. One thing he added on, I lost to your friend. In my mind, I thought is JJ. Ended up he mentioned about HIM. I tried to be normal, but I failed. Topic changed right after that, he then asked whether I am having class or in holiday now. I paused for seconds before answered, and my answer somehow is not related to the question. Not only once, for the following conversation I just can’t concentrate! I then apologized and asked to chat only next time.

FML. Why am I acting so? I just can’t control my mind. There were too many memories flashed by at the moment. Tears flowed again. I am feeling so painful. I really miss him badly. Was wondering how he is doing lately.

I am asked to accept the fact. Stop believing in miracles and fairytale. I knew I should, but I just failed to do so.

Are Doraemon and Kitty really meant to be together? It’s true that whenever I see Doraemon soft toy, there is sure another Kitty beside him! I have never realized until he told me about this. One is without ears, and another one is without mouth. Aren’t there is some communication problem between them?

Kitty misses Doraemon badly, but Doraemon will never know, as he has got no ear to hear about it.

My First Week of Jan

Early in the morning on Tues, I had received Van’s sms, asking whether I will be in USJ and plan to meet up. Ms Vv busy with the bf and ditched us =P 3 of us then met up and chilled at TinBanGorGor. Nice chit chat session we had J Right after the chilling session, I washed my clothes and rush back to Kepong for dance.

Wed was my baby Niece 2 years old birthday =D Happy Birthday to her! Time flies, and she is now being super cute and adorable.

That morning, I drove to USJ again. Met up with another 3 girls to Shah Alam by Steve’s car. It is our fresh experience for everything on that day. Anyway it was my pleasure to be with the Fairlady. First time to have a ride on it! When the car speed, my whole body was sticking to the chair with the momentum! Nice one! Too bad I am not allowed to drive it, only for the Swift. I love the whole interior design of the Swift seriously! We girls had our sweet time for some snapshot with the Swiss. Thanks Ms VivianC for the nice shot ^^ During our self shot, this is the first time that I have seen another VivianC! With Cool smile without the cute ingredient! Well done girl! Nothing is unreachable in this world, even people had sentenced it on you. Just try our best on it! ;) *p/s: However this is not applicable in the term of love relationship

It was my bad day actually. I forgot to switch off the light of my car, and I could not start it! I was just right in front of my dorm in USJ with the accompanion of Vv and Jayce, was damn freaking nervous! First person who stroke in my mind that could lay me a hand would be CS, my housemate. I called him straight, and thank god he was just nearby with his colleagues. Not more than 10 minutes, my HEROES reached XD. With the battery connection for both cars, I am glad that my Blackie could finally work. Thanks a lot to them really. Night when I was in Kepong, again, STERLING LOCK! ARghhh….! What a day! My phone was out of battery, was beeping non-stop! Failed to follow instruction from my mum through the phone. KP called on that point of time. Managed to send him my current location before my phone die off. Thank god KP then rushed to Kepong to meet me up after my dance class. Even though it was my CAR BREAKDOWN DAY, but I am grateful that friends around are there to lay me a hand when I need them. Thanks a lot really J

When I went online in MCD on Friirday, I realized my Facebook account has been hacked! HOLY SHIT! Am glad that Facebook’s management is efficient enough to restore back, and finally my account is BACK! The idiot hell hacked in my profile and tagged 28 picts to his account. Well, I seriously have no idea of what is the idiot trying to do. Not only mine, I saw few other ladies’ pictures been tagged to the account. =.= Zzz

It was Chui’s 21^st Birthday! One of my closest buddies. I have seen her from being a lady to a TB. From long hair with bra, to her look right now. She has invited all of her friends to her steamboat buffet party in Momo. Basically I have seen almost everyone there, as we used to hang out often in the olden days. Well, they are TB, and those who attended are mostly Lesbian gang I would say. Ladies all brought their Tb boyfriend along, some I could even can’t differentiate they are really guy or Tb =/ Chui and Man, the only two that would pamper me as their best best friend! When I was feeling blue, they would just rush to USJ and spend their time with me. They really meant a lot to me J Kinda have a reunion day with our gang, SzeMei, Lion, A Biao and the rest still the same as last time, still that silly and sampat, hee.. They have their second round in MIST. I did not join them for that even how close am I with them. I am too old for club now XD

Few weeks ago, suddenly saw his status, and it did really shock me. I knew he was writing that to me. “OMG”, in my heart. It’s the maximum limit of a guy I think. Courtship and waiting for more than 6 years. I did not make any respond to the status, as I really don’t know how to react. Until Friday when I saw his tweet, it is a bit disappointing.

“Now I realize, I was the only one who contributing the effort and trying very hard for this all the time. There is no any greeting message from you at all if I did not call you. I will only receive your call whenever you need help. Is time for me to let go I think.” -CF

Well, if you really know me well enough, you will not say so. My apology for my passiveness. I am the type that would not call or send any regards to guy in the first move. And again, I would like to correct the phrase, as I never called you even though I need help. Maybe to others, but you, I never did so. I am glad that finally you decide to move on. I knew you can get a better one J

Sometimes, feelings and love is just about the right timing. Once you missed it, no matter how many years of efforts you have been put, it will still equal to nothing. I just missed a right timing too, and it is impossible to reverse the clock for me to change the fact. To start a relationship is never that easy as puppy love last time. At the point of considering to couple up, it would be the most critical time where you will be thinking a lot of consequences.

Guys are mostly easy to be melted, or touched. Ladies would have the instinct as the guy is falling into us. To be honest, I tend to get afraid when a guy starts to call or message me often. I will start to cut down and try not to be that close. If I did not do so, I know it is going to be hurt once they have stepped deeper and deeper. I don’t want to give any hopes to anyone. There is a term of “Ai Mei” in mandarin, and I would never let it happen among me and the guys. Yes, I admit, I would only call them up for help if there is any urgent. But that would only to guys who I think are able to give me a hand on the point of time. But don’t you think this is better rather than to toy their feelings and ended up of giving a bigger disappointment to them? Aren’t friends supposed to give a hand to each other when we need help? Or we can only hand out our help to our LOVE one?? Sigh.

He would be the only one who managed to win my heart. A distance of just nice, not too sticky, not too far apart. At least I won’t be shunning from him when I received his message, where I was still not into him on the point of time. Seriously, I still miss him even though my time is pack. Dreamt of him would be the most painful thing everytime.

Dancing is my passion of my new life now. I dance almost every day. Sunday would be my only day without dancing for this month. Last weekend I was working at the Education fair for TOC. I’m actually working for Hypertune. Goshh, my uniform! Never ever tagged any pictures of me wearing the uniform please………! I have got no choice but to work for this job as my leg is hurted. I can only work for jobs which are with boots to cover the cuts. I need at least few hundred a month to cover my monthly commitment. Sighh.. I skipped my krumping class on Saturday! Argghhh.. One of my favorite! I am going to dance like crazy for my summer break, to pick up what I have missed for stopping my dance for 2 years. I realize there are more for me to master with the skills. Forget about Hip Hop, I would never get the feel. I am too sissy for that. Focus more on Street Jazz, New Jazz, Krumping and heels dance J 2 hours dance everyday is killing my muscle seriously, Thursday would be the worst, 3 hours!! It is worst than GYM! You gonna see a FIT Blackie after this month! Teehee~ I am now travelling to Kepong almost everyday, it’s just like my daily routine! It’s kinda bored to drive alone all the time.

This is the most relaxing week that I have ever had since 2010. Not much of jobs that I am taking, as January has got not much of job offer. Again with my scars, it makes me not to be greedy in jobs and have a nice rest. I am feeling so release. Should play my own role as a student, as I am always one. Dance, study, and less job, but not Job>/Study! ;)

Welcome 2011

New year eve, I was working for the Heneiken Countdown Street Event at Mont Kiara’s most happening area --- Soho Solaris. Turned down the job which is at Changkat, KL and work for this event. Longer working hour, but would finish work earlier which is sharp at 12am. Another reason would be this event doesn’t need us to attend any briefing, and I am working with my dearest Ms VivianC =)

Easy job, was whole time chatting. Luckily I turned down the job in Changkat, as the place 100% will be freaking crowded with youngsters and seafood (Larlar). My first and last countdown was during my 15, it was so packed and jostling! People all ended up to be full with spray! Solaris there was quite comfortable and windy. People there mostly adults and mature teenagers, some even came with family. So warm! Crowd only started around 10pm+. Pack but not jostling. On the moment of the fireworks been released, it was so damn beautiful! All of us could enjoy the nice fireworks without pushing each other. Peace but yet happening =)

I was being careless and kicked on something. New scars of “11” on my leg. Heartache of the new scars, but this time my heart is not as pain as last time. Just let it be. It has already happened, no point keep worrying about it, what I need is just apply medicine so that it recover as soon as possible. Maybe it is meant for me to take a rest in freelance line J

No plan for the new year, I was planning to head towards home straight right after my job. Glad that my dear VivianC invited me to join her boyfriend and the gang for yumcha session. I knew almost all of them, so at least it is not that awkward for me to join J It was about 10 of us that night. At least, my new year is not a bored one. Van and Sharon did call us and intended to meet up, but due to they are too far away from us, they choose not to join at last.

We were on the phone even though we did not meet up. They are going to join Vannie’s mum and the boyfriend to Malacca for one day trip. It’s too last minute, and she asked us to join along. 4 people will need to be jostling behind the car. Well, it is such a torture. So end up we just ask them to enjoy. Vivian shared to her bf about the Malacca trip that offered by Vannie. AC then suggested us to go for a day trip or 2D1N trip. Asked everyone for the opinion, and we all “ON”! Such a random one, and I’m LOVIN IT =D It was already 3am++. Once the plan is solid, we all quickly back home to sleep. We are meeting up again for the next 5 hours!! OMG~

Woke up at 7am. I was still slacking and snoozed my alarm, until AC sent me a message, said he is picking me up before 8am! I bounced up immediately and showered then! It was a random plan, we did not manage to book any hotel. So we planned to spot for budget rooms when we are reached due the hotel are mostly fully booked. “Worst come to worst we will be staying at the bag-packers hotel, which everything going to be public, even the wash room,” HY said. Gosh, he was just joking, and I took it serious. I brought only a bag and my sweater along for the trip =.=” Argghhhhh….

Once we reached, we straight away spot for the chicken rice. Same place again, Jonker Street. Then Satay Babi. Again, I am back to the most painful place, where all the things begin, and the sweetest memory ever. Somehow I know I must face the fact. Where it started, it should be ended too. At night, again Cendol and Asam Laksa. Met something funny. There was an auntie passed by, and asked, “ Ehh! Why there is vegetable in the ice soup?” LOL! She was actually mentioning about the cendol. Muahaha! A Food Hunting trip again, all about food J With the crazy gang, we just have our laughter non-stop. Stupid jokes, stupid pose =P

Second day, again another visit to Jonker Street before we left. Bought my mum some famous tarts ;) Was having our breakfast, and there I met the Tren dancers. Was planning to join Tren back. Planned to pay a visit to the studio in few days later, but somehow I met them there. The captain still remembered me! Most of the dance crew still remained, some changed a lot and I could not recognize them. They could still recognize me, and claimed that I put on weight compared to 2.5 yrs ago. T__T Is all these fated? I was about to seek for my happiness by doing something that I am happy with -- plan to dance back, and now I met them. The studio is located in Kepong, and I will be travelling up and down. No choice, as the crews are all there.

On our way back to KL, another random plan – Kajang Satay! I miss the satay with the flavor of mutton, beef, duck and fish! Too bad they don’t have the pork flavor =( Well, I found they tasted so so only today. It tasted so nice last time, but now seems like normal. Is it because I have just tasted the Satay Babi in Malacca? Or they quality control of the satay slipped? Hmm… Am wondering… A little disappointment. L

I love our RANDOMNESS =D But it is there is price to pay. Need cash to enjoy the fun of it.

Anyway I enjoy my new year. It is a good start. New chapter, new life, new beginning, new aim =) Things should be ended should be left over in 2010. Welcome my new year! I hope it would be as fun as my 2010 ;)

*wink*