The Knot of Nineteen!

Chinese always believe that Nineteen is a tough year, as we are turning into twenty. It is always been considered as a big hinder of the life. For me, I never think so.

My nineteen, I had lots of fun. I finally ditched my moron ex, started new life with freedom and new friends, approached to lots of freelance jobs, got lots of fresh experience, enjoy having vacation with friends, and also, I am becoming more independent. From a girl which is bad in driving turn into one that is daring to drive to certain strange area without accompanion and the aids of GPS. This year, I do learnt a lot, and I appreciate what ever that I was given.

2010, a memorable year for me. The happiness is more than pain. I thought this would be my happiest year for me, and it is going to end with my big SMILE. Nevertheless, luck will never stick to you.

This is the first time I feel that I am sliding to the dip of my life. I feel so helpless. Everything just gone WRONG! Why is all these happening to me? Things was not that worst, until I burnt my leg with the exhaust pipe.

Yes, I burnt my leg. Was crying so badly as I don't want to have any scar on it! It is not as worst as what you think, it can still be concealed with just a piece of plaster. Somehow I don't want to have any scar on my leg!

From the ground, I was held to very high. High and good offer coming non-stop. Everything seems to be so wonderful for me. Am feeling so happy with everything happened around me, it was like--UNBELIEVABLE! Somehow all those are just the mask of everything.

I burnt my leg. Heard something that turn me so so down. Well, this is still not end of the story yet. From being honoured and standing high, I was invited to go even more Higher, to the peak! I was encouraged to step on it. Was hesitating, and end up, yes, I was tempted and done such stupid decision. Now, the peak was not stable and all just collapse. I am now standing at no where but underground! I got no one to blame, as me myself who should take my own responsibility for my own decision. Now, I lost everything!

Another moron people came and try to attack me. Hoping me to get dismissed from the coming competition. Trying to crap and cook story about me.

When I missed my step last week, it caused me to have blue black on my knee. When I was sleeping last week, I bang my head hard to the wall! Again and again hurting myself non-stop!! What are all these? I am now just nothing but a CRAPPPP!

Am feeling super blue now. After a big cry, still I am down.

When things will turn right? Is next year a NEW year for me? I had enough.. =(
I am tired to be strong.